To All My Fans, Old and New

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a little bit full of myself...okay, a lot a bit full of myself. Let me state that it's not completely unfounded though. I don't mean that in an "I'm gorgeous" way either (I am gorgeous, but not the point of this writing). No, I'm referring to my stalkers. There have been many through the years. I remember my first one my sophomore year of high school. We called her grody jody. She got my number through means still unclear to me. She'd call me daily. After a month of me ignoring her, she showed up at my house. Didn't ring the bell, just sat out front. She did that for about a week until she finally asked me to a school dance. After I declined, I stopped hearing from her.
More recently I've had a good friend who happens to be female. It's actually a first for me, having a close friend who is a girl. Let me tell you, it has some benefits. Benefit one: she does recon for me. She talks to all girls around her, girls who I have never met. I'm always shocked at how many girls tell her details of my life. Girls who I have never met. Girls who want to use her to meet me. In one case, a girl went as far as to hang out with her up until the point she found out I was dating someone else at the time.
Another girl who I had never met, or even seen went as far as to send me an e-mail over facebook. The e-mail, while flattering, may be one of the creepiest things I had seen. She informed me that though we had never met, she had been seeing me "around" and thought I was "beautiful." Then on Valentines Day this year, she sought me out in the institute parking lot and gave me a valentine. an "bleeding heart" she called it. It was a pink heart-shaped cookie with a large splotch of dark red food coloring. Yes, this is true.
Most recently, I've learned of another stalker. Though I'd consider her more of an admirer from a distance. I have to preface this story with an embarrassing story about myself: I tried on-line dating. Only once, but it happened. To be honest, it wasn't so bad. The girl was cute, and more importantly, normal. No trace of social backwards-ness at all. Just no chemistry. Anyways, After talking for a couple weeks and one date, we lost touch, or ended contact... either way... Just this week (it's been 6 months since I've heard from her) I got an e-mail from her. I had a brief panic attack. I wondered to myself "Is this one of those 'why did you never call?' e-mails?" Thankfully it wasn't. It was something far funnier and more flattering. Apparently this girl has a friend in her masters program who, according to my internet-date, is a lot like me. so internet date friend went out on a limb. Asked if the other girl knew me. Her reply? "I've never met him but we have friends in common and I've read some of his post on my friend's blog and he is totally awesome! I love his posts" Ah yes, this is why I have an internet presence. The flattery. Am I calling this girl? Absolutely.